


Burden

by Suracis



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suracis/pseuds/Suracis
Summary: Months apart. Months spent investigating Kaneki's disappearance and to find nothing. Nothing at all. Combing through the wards, one would be afraid of doves who are out to kill or capture any ghoul they can find. But what do they do with a crow?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a two-part series, heavily inspired by the anime version of Tokyo Ghoul. Have fun reading! Song lyrics do not belong to me.

Sitting in a warmly lit room, Nagachika Hideyoshi picked up a warm cup of coffee as he tiredly stared out the window. Before he could take a sip, he paused, contemplating on the past couple of months. And when he did, the golden-haired young adult would always start with the same question.  _Why? Why can't I find any trace of you? Why did you... leave me behind?_ Forcing himself to swallow the dark liquid, Hideyoshi sipped on it before setting the cup onto its plate without a noise. It was pitch black outside and the only thing you could see were lights and the bright stars above. 

"Hey dumbass. Staring off into space again?" Smiling, the CCG investigator looked back to the source of the voice, belonging to a violet haired woman. 

"Of course not. I was thinking how lovely it would be to gaze upon the evening stars with you." Scoffing at the idea, Touka took a spot across from him. "Sitting with me? My, my, I feel honored by your presence."'

"Shut it Hide." Grinning stupidly at her, Touka merely mimicked Hide's movements not too long ago, staring out the window. "Have you..." She knew she didn't want to ask. She didn't want to get her hopes up. At least, not as much as the idiot investigator did. But she pushed herself to finish the question. "Have you found a lead on him yet?" Hide's expression slowly changed from happy go-lucky to something resembling seriousness or perhaps even sadness. 

"I don't think he wants to be found."

"And you thought joining the CCG would help. What foolishness is that." Over the coffee shop's speakers, a familiar song began to play, throwing both of them into another world.

_You're all I think about_

_Starting not to see anything else_

_I'll win your heart for sure -- I swear_

_Me, not cool? Oh, that old tale_

_I've spared no effort until then_

_Should be over my problems by now_

_I'm brimming with confidence: I can do it_

_And just when I get warmed up_

_Yeah, I get knocked down like this every time_

_Your scathing, serious voice cuts me_

_Thousands, tens of thousands, of times I've given form to my feelings_

_Driven them in, thrown them in -- but all you do is run_

_Question, question: what_

_Question, question: on earth_

_Question, question: did I_

_Ever know about you anyway?_

_Question, question: why_

_Question, question: is it_

_Question, question: you are_

_So close yet so far away?_

"How stupid for this song to play right now." Hide couldn't agree more. It was a painful memory. And a painful point in his life. His best friend, Kaneki disappeared after a mysterious event. To Hide, that was similar to slowly killing him as Kaneki was the only thing he could think about. To try and find more clues, he had joined the CCG as a novice investigator. It did help to a certain extent to find reports of a ghoul called Eyepatch but he rarely appeared out in the streets of any ward. And if he did, it would be the 20th ward. But by sheer, dumb luck, Hide ran into his old friend. Unfortunately, that interaction was short lived. Kaneki refused to hear Hide out and never even said a word that it frustrated the usual cheerful fellow to lash out to try and keep the snowy-haired man to stay.

"Yeah..." Touka kept quiet, watching the various emotions that ran across Hide's face.  _Kaneki, it was almost as if... you don't care about me anymore. I thought I knew who you were as a person but now, as a ghoul? I don't know what to think. Every single time I find a trace of you, I follow it to the ends of the earth. And if I do find you, you run away. Every single time. Do you... want me to give up? Is that it?_ Sighing, Hide subconsciously picked up the coffee and took another sip.

"What are you going to do about the crow?" Breaking Hide out of his thoughts, he cleared his throat before asking Touka to repeat herself. "The one that's been killing both doves and ghouls alike?"

"Not sure. We're still looking into what the goal is for wiping out the ghouls and the CCG branch in the 10th ward."

"As if we need anymore problems." Remaining silent, Hide just placed the coffee cup down. "Don't you think it's time we gave up on Kaneki?" Feeling his eyes widen at the words he just heard, Hide stared into her eyes.

"Give up? Are you kidding me!? He's my best friend!"

" _Was_ your best friend." Gritting his teeth, he really couldn't believe what he was hearing. Touka, the one who supported Hide all this time is now saying the same things everyone else was saying! "Listen, I know you care a whole lot about him but maybe we should move on with our lives. If he hasn't come back before, why would he come now?" Curling both his hands into fists, Hide glared at the table below him.

"He. Needs. Us. I thought you understood that?" Without hearing a response, the CCG investigator almost looked back up until her voice came. 

"How do you know that? If he really needed us, don't you think he would be here with us?" Quickly standing up, Hide quickly rummaged some money from his pockets and left it on the table. Before he could actually leave, he stopped right at the exit, making sure she could hear his next words.

"If you're asking me to abandon him, I won't do it."

"Even if he has abandoned you?" Time momentarily stopped between them as all you could hear was the small clock ticking on the wall.

"Until I hear it from his mouth, I don't care." Exiting the cafe, the door bells chimed quietly in his wake. Making his way down a couple of blocks and through a park, he settled on sitting down on a bench before returning to his apartment. The bench was cold, slightly reminding Hide of the way Kaneki's skin felt. Shivering by the thought and the temperature, the investigator held himself to try and retain his warmth.  _Stupid Touka. Why would she say all that? I mean, I know Kaneki hasn't been warming up to me but I know he still cares... right? Though, he always tries to run away from me... and he never says a word... should I really keep chasing?_ Immediately aware of what kind of thought was running in his mind, he quickly shook his head.  _No, no! I can't think like that. If I do, Kaneki won't have anyone by his side._

"Somebody help!" Hastily standing up, amber eyes scanned the empty park, trying to find the source. Then when he heard a couple of footsteps running, he quickly followed the sound while taking out his firearm, loaded with Q bullets.  _I don't have a quinque but this will have to do. Hopefully, it will be enough._  Seeing a shadow run into an alley, that only heightened Hide's senses.  _Confined spaces. Not much room to work with. Is this a trap?_ Following his gut instinct, he cautiously followed the shadow into the alley and was greeted with one shrill scream that it sent goosebumps down Hide's spine, freezing him in place.  _What... what the fuck was that?_ Deciding to take his time, he soundlessly made his way further down until something could be heard. Something... slimy.  _What... is that?_ And that's when it hit Hide's nose. That ever so disgusting and familiar scent of blood and meat being devoured.  _Shit! It's a ghoul._ Daring to approach the noise, he held out his gun, pointing it at the small ball that was hovering over what seems to be the person that made the noise not too long ago.

"Stop right there or I will shoot." Hastily, green armor covered a portion of the ghoul's body as it stood up, forcing Hide to do exactly as he said. Seeing that it didn't do anything, the blond hastily made a move to change the ammo type of his gun. 

"You're too slow." Suddenly hearing the deep and heavy voice breathing down his neck, the CCG investigator didn't have to turn around as he was smacked heavily into the brick wall. Coughing and spitting out blood, Hide wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Heh. Or maybe you're just too fast." It didn't take long for Hide to be put into a corner as the ghoul endlessly kept knocking him back and forth, giving him no opportunity to defend himself.

"What a weak dove. And you don't even have your stupid little quinque to use. Then again, you wouldn't have those little toys had you not killed any of us." Lifting Hide up against the wall with his shirt, the ghoul spat at his face. Chuckling, Hide began to laugh at the words that were spouted out. "What? Have you gone crazy knowing that you're about to die?"

"Yeah right. I'm not even a dove so you must be that stupid to mistake me for one."  _But I do work for them._ Quickly feeling the oxygen out of his lungs escape, Hide began coughing violently by the hard punch.  _Shit, is this where it all ends for me?_

"If you're not a dove, then how do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Because you're not the first one that's made that mistake about me." Spitting back at the ghoul's face, Hide smiled, knowing that this may very well be his last few moments. "You won't get away with this."

"We'll see about that but first, let's see how you taste." Swallowing whatever saliva he had in his mouth, Hide almost paled. The thought of being eaten alive. It's almost like being eaten by zombies. But by ghouls! The ghoul leaned into the investigator's shoulder, slowly opening his mouth letting a ton of saliva drip out.  _Oh god._ Shutting his eyes, the blond mentally prepared himself for the pain he was about to experience. But all he felt was something wet hitting his face and gravity suddenly affecting his body. Landing on his shoulder, brown eyes suddenly popped open. And when he did, his breathing stopped for a moment.

"Ka... Kaneki!" Realizing who it was that saved him, he rushed to his feet, intent on taking this man back home with him. "Thanks a bunch for saving me! Time to go home now, right?" Already used to being given the cold shoulder, it came as no surprise when there wasn't a response. "Hey 'Neki, you know it's not nice to ignore your best friend. And why are you still wearing that mask? You can take that off when you're around me you know." When the white-haired ghoul made a move to walk away, it all began to crumble as Touka's words kept replaying in his head over and over, like a broken record on repeat. "Why? Why do you still keep running away from me?" Watching his former best friend distance himself, the investigator almost pulled at his own hair. "Don't you want to stay with your friends? With... me?" Noticing the ghoul pause, it brought a little hope. But even that did not last as he continued walking. Biting down on his teeth, Hide decided to put all of his effort into one last try. "Do you want me to give up on you!? Is that it!?" 

But that didn't work either. As Kaneki Ken walked out of his sight, Hide clenched at his chest, trying to prevent the tears from falling. It wasn't as if this was the first time Kaneki walked away from him. But to Hide, it might as well be the last time he would ever see his friend again. "Please! Come back! I love you." Those last three words were so inaudible that it even sounded like a whisper. Despite two dead bodies around him, he fell to his knees, covering his face as tears began to flow more freely.  _Was Touka right all along? Kaneki really doesn't care about us? About me? Do I not even exist in that head of his?_ "Shit... shit!" Slamming a fist into the ground, it hurt almost as much as when he was thrown earlier. But not nearly as much as the pain that's being felt in his heart.  _It wasn't worth it, was it? All the time I spent looking for him. All the time I spent thinking about him. It really was one-sided, wasn't it?_ Hearing a pair of footsteps behind him, Hide didn't bother moving, not caring who it was.  _It's not Kaneki..._

But when it stopped right behind him, the CCG investigator couldn't help but turn his head around to take a glimpse. Immediately noticing the all-black clothing and the black briefcase, it put Hide on high alert.  _The crow!?_   _No, it can't be. He doesn't look that harmful. Then again, he sort of looks like the old_ _Kaneki._ "Are you what they call a dove?" Staring into his eyes, Hide shook his head. "Then why are you dressed like one?" Swallowing nervously, he cleared his throat. 

"I'm a Bureau Investigator. Ghoul Investigators are the ones called doves. You know, the ones with the briefcases." Watching the neutral expression on the other person, Hide's anxiety continued to climb.

"You are all doves to me." Pushing a button on his briefcase, it quickly turned into a pistol.  _Is that... a quinque?_   _But it looks just like my gun._ Quickly feeling an air cut to the left side of his face and a bright light, Hide could only recognize it as a gun that shot electricity. "You didn't kill the person nor the ghoul lying here without its head. Where is the ghoul that did this?" Chuckling, Hide lifted his hands into the air.

"What do you mean? The ghoul here obviously killed the human and I was here to save the day." By the next second, the same bright, white light filled Hide's vision as immense pain filled his entire body, causing the investigator to scream loudly. Shortly after, the blond fell to his back, slightly twitching from the attack. 

"This gun may not shoot bullets but it's enough to kill both humans and ghouls with a few shots. Now, I will ask one more time. Where is the ghoul that did this?" Gathering all of his strength, the most Hide could do was raise his head to stare back at the attacker. 

"Wha-what does... it... m-matter? Just... kill... m-me." Using all of his strength, the investigator laid back down on the concrete, breathing heavily.  _Even if you don't care about me, I will still protect you, Kaneki._  

"So be it."

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy it? If so, go ahead and press the Kudos and Comment button and let me know all about it! If not, leave a comment as well. Any and all feedback is appreciated!


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